If you really need a hint to try to figure out what item this woman allegedly shoplifted...you need to put a pair of glasses on your eyes and not several colors of mascara.

Washington County Sheriff's Office/ Fayetteville, AK

This story out of Arkansas had me nearly howling during this morning's 'Stupid News' segment and therefore my reading of it was barely intelligible. I am posting it here as more of a public service to anyone that tried to make sense out of my rendition.