Conway Serial Defecator Needs To Be Caught Quickly

I'd sooner find a severed foot in my driveway than human waste. In case you havent' heard, a man in Conway has been finding what appears to be human feces in his driveway. This "serial defecator" needs to be caught and caught fast. Conway is a winter resort town, and if the crime scenes move to the slopes and someone gets hurt skiing over one of these "messes", I see a Chief Brody vs Mayor Vaughn like standoff featuring Lt. Perley and Conway's Selectmen.