I hate starting this off like I would a term paper in college, but a Reuben is defined as:

a hot sandwich of corned beef, Swiss cheese with Russian dressing, and sauerkraut. These are grilled between slices of rye bread.

With all the brain power at the Food Network, you'd think they would know this.

I would say 85% of my TV time on the weekends is spent watching the Food Network and salivating. Last Sunday morning I was watching "The Best Thing I Ever Made" and a chef named Adam Gertland was on talking about his Reuben Dog. Naturally, he had me at Reuben (and dog) but my undivided attention quickly turned to confusion when he listed the ingredients.

His Reuben Dog has pastrami, and not corned beef. There is nothing more upsetting to my ears, than hearing someone say Reuben, and have it followed by something other than corned beef.

A Reuben has corned beef. If you want to put pastrami in it, be my guest, but do not call it a Reuben and try and fool us with this blasphemy. If there is a Reuben God, and I believe there is, he would surely be looking on in disgust with his rye bread eyes, crying tears of Russian dressing. He shakes his corned beef fists in the air as his sauerkraut beard and swiss cheese hair blow in the wind.

I decided to take it to Twitter and see if Mr. Gertland would explain himself.

@DKexperience

Ok so I buckled under pressure. I just wanted some free food. 'Til we meet again Adam Gertland!