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Grannys on Meth? False Positives Are Hilarious When It’s Not Your Drug Test

This grandmother from Independence, Missouri looks very healthy for an alleged 62 year old meth-head. After testing positive for methamphetamine from a hospital administered urine test, a second test proved the prior findings we’re the result of a false positive.

I’ve only taken one drug test and the sample was from a hair clipping. Aside from looking like Rickie Vaughn from Major League for 6 weeks, I was paranoid the test would come back positive for heroin when the real culprit is the addictive substance pictured below.

Getty Images/Spencer Platt

Bagels!!!!!!!!! Poppyseeds are supposed to trigger false positives for heroin and I love them, I also dominate a lot of lemon coffee cakes that are riddled with poppyseeds too. How are you supposed to defend yourself when you test positive for poppyseed addiction? I can’t help thinking somewhere in my permanent file is the line “Might be a junkie, may just be from way too many bagels.”

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