Grannys on Meth? False Positives Are Hilarious When It’s Not Your Drug Test

This grandmother from Independence, Missouri looks very healthy for an alleged 62 year old meth-head. After testing positive for methamphetamine from a hospital administered urine test, a second test proved the prior findings we're the result of a false positive.

I've only taken one drug test and the sample was from a hair clipping. Aside from looking like Rickie Vaughn from Major League for 6 weeks, I was paranoid the test would come back positive for heroin when the real culprit is the addictive substance pictured below.

Bagels!!!!!!!!! Poppyseeds are supposed to trigger false positives for heroin and I love them, I also dominate a lot of lemon coffee cakes that are riddled with poppyseeds too. How are you supposed to defend yourself when you test positive for poppyseed addiction? I can't help thinking somewhere in my permanent file is the line "Might be a junkie, may just be from way too many bagels."