Train’s Pats Recap
On Friday and Saturday, I was tackled by a nasty stomach flu. Bedridden with a fever and dizzy spells can create quite an array of weird dreams. Tom Hanks, Scarlett Johansson and myself were mining for gold on Short Sands at York Beach for instance. A great big hole in the ground, sluice boxes and Goldenrod taffy for everyone!
By Sunday morning, I was feeling quite a bit better and it wasn’t long before reality started to look very similar to some horrible scene that can only happen in the dreamscape of a very ill Patriots fan.
First of all, weather problems in Dallas prevented Steve Macatee from doing play by play for the game. CBS provided broadcast veteran Don Criqui in his absence. I started watching the Pats when I was a kid and they were really, really bad. It seemed like their games would either be blacked out or covered by Don Criqui and Bob Trumpy. I couldn’t stand Trumpy, he seemed to despise the Pats (a real broadcasting pioneer for today’s Hatriot age) and now Don Criqui’s play by play just seems to anger me through no fault of his own. Criqui served as the Pats pre-season announcer for many years with Jerry Glanville then Randy Cross but Trumpy’s echoes still haunt my weary mind.
So, the Pats look abysmal, then the unthinkable happens and DK gives me the assignment of doing The Pats Recap The Pats score 12 points in 65 seconds and win, and I wake up to see that DK did The Pats Recap. I was enraged. It doesn’t take much to enrage me I’ll admit that. But I spent 9 or 10 hours thinking about how the voice of Don Criqui was the music of misery from my childhood and now I can’t bore Shark nation to tears with another 15,000-word blog of woe ?!? I think not. Now, just 34 hours after the game ended, there you go!
I’ll finish with this, everybody is doom and gloom. “They have no chance of winning the Superbowl without Gronk” – Everybody. Whenever the Patriots are underdogs…watch out! I’m no PollyAnna but if they aren’t favored by Vegas, they seem to win every single time. Maybe I’m in some strange form of denial, maybe I’m still groggy from the flu..but now that everyone has given up, I’m really excited to see how it all plays out.