It’s Not Fall in New England Without This Snack & Beverage Combo
Despite some calendar nonsense, fall has arrived. You can see all the signs. The leaves are changing color, the air is crisp, and CVS is selling Christmas ornaments.
But before I lose my temper in front of strangers when a corn maze proves challenging, I going to treat myself to my favorite fall snack.
Be warned – you may find half of it triggering.
Part one: apple cider. This is the universally accepted part. Nearly everyone likes it.
But now, I find myself on the verge of being divisive, for part two of the Perfect Autumn Snack is a criminally underrated and much-maligned sweet whose slander I will stand for no more. There is nothing I like more on a nice autumn afternoon than a glass of cider…and a bowl of candy corn.
Stop your groaning. I feel it coming through your screen and frankly, I’ve had it. Candy corn is delicious and beautiful from start to finish, and that people have lumped it in with Crocs and the worst “moist” for unbearable entities is unacceptable.
How can you besmirch anything with the outside texture of a Tootsie Roll, and creamy filling of an Oreo? And when you’re making a Thanksgiving campfire diorama for school, who’s there for you when you need a fake campfire? Skittles? M&Ms? Reese’s Pieces?
The answer is always candy corn.
Sadly, there exists some division within the candy corn community, such as a disagreement between myself and my colleague up in Portland, Chantel. We both love candy corn, and as we waxed poetic about this waxy candy, I shared that I especially enjoy chocolate candy corn. Expecting reciprocation, I was left hanging, like a wrestler, reaching for a tag that wasn’t there.
For Chantel does not like chocolate candy corn. It is, in her words, “ew.”
Very well. I guess we can’t agree on everything. Personally, I have little patience for the tiny pumpkins that somehow make their way into bags of candy corn. Never mind that they’re completely out of place – like “Sloop John B” on “Pet Sounds” – but they’re simply too much. There’s no dance. Just BOOM! – right away, candy in my molars. They lack subtlety. They’re the wrong shape.
And they remind me too much of Ernie from “Sesame Street.” My heart goes out to any truly disturbed individual who takes joy in eating tiny Ernies.
But, I digress. And you should stop kidding yourself, and enjoy candy corn – the quintessential candy of New England autumns. Which, of course, you eat pointy part first.