Warm weather be damned. The calendar does not lie. September means it is time to go back to school in New England.

No more “Bluey.” No more “Encanto.” And stepping on Legos again becomes a once-a-day inconvenience. In that spirit, here are eight great songs you can passively aggressively blast as you take the kids back to school:

8. “September,” Earth, Wind & Fire.

Subtle, but they’ll know what you’re saying – and probably seethe at the idea of you dancing to it as you pack away the slip-n-slide (a small aside: anyone else think it’s weird there’s a soul group named “Earth Wind & Fire” and a superhero group named “The Fantastic Four”?).

7. “School Days,” Chuck Berry.

This song would be higher on the list if it weren’t for my mom singing it when she woke me up to go to preschool and kindergarten. Just thinking about it gives me an Ecto Cooler hangover.

6. “Rock and N' Roll High School,” Ramones.

Tremendous concept, but I imagine it would be very confusing. “Who’d you get for math?” “Mr. Ramone! You in the same class?” “Nah, I got Mr. Ramone. But I’m wicked jealous of my buddy, who got Mr. Ramone.”

5. “Math Suks,” Jimmy Buffett.

This one got Mr. Buffett into a bit of trouble upon its 1999 release. But my favorite part is that, judging by the title, English is, in fact, the protagonist’s greatest foe.

4. “Grade 9,” Barenaked Ladies.

This perfectly captures the essence of going from the big frog in a small pond to a tadpole all over again (but if we’re being honest, no BNL song evokes back-to-school like “One Week,” as when it came on at the first dance of the schoolyear at Winnacunnet, everyone excitedly turned to me and said, “Aren’t these those weird guys you like??”).

3. “Don’t You (Forget About Me),” Simple Minds.

To most Gen X’ers, this should be number one. But think of the example it might set for your children. After all, you don’t wanna mess with the bull.

2. “Teach Your Children,” Crosby Stills & Nash.

A nice, poignant number to hum while helping your kids with their homework (rather than mimicking Mr. Buffett).

1. “Be True to Your School,” The Beach Boys.

The definitive school anthem. It combines everything America is about: competition, rivalry, spirit, and Uncle Jesse doing a drum solo.
Honorable Mention:

“Hot for Teacher,” Van Halen.

Why It Didn’t Make My List:

Refer back to #4 to see where I sent to high school.

Any others I forgot? Let me know. Jon.rineman@townsquaremedia.com.

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