The Reason I Carry a Negativity Stone In My Pocket Everyday

My wife seems to think I have a negative attitude (she's right I do) so she asks that I carry this negativity stone with me.  It is supposed to suck the negativity from my body and render me positive.  It doesn't work.  At least not yet,  I've had this in my pocket for weeks, but maybe this one is broken.I guess I'm supposed to 'try' and be positive and then it works, according to her.  I'll let you know if it starts working.  Whoever came up with the idea of selling rocks and branding them as some sort of remedy is a genius.

Maybe I should start selling positivity rocks, or do those already exist?