Open Letter To My Bad Boyfriend, Tom Brady
Tom. You're killin' me. You're being a bad boyfriend.
I read a couple days ago that you said, in public, that you "wouldn't be caught dead living in the Northeast again," according to NBCsports.com. I know you were referring to the weather. I know that. I know that you're a California kid and you missed all that beautiful Sunny and 75 degree weather, but I can't imagine why you would use those words? You "wouldn't be caught dead living in the Northeast again." Ok.
I can't even give you the excuse that you were being interviewed and you may have been under pressure to come up with something. You have been in front of a microphone countless times, why would you choose those words? I say this as someone who has to step up to the mic and speak every day, so I know what I'm talking about. You coulda picked another phrase, right? Too much Florida orange juice? I am a forever optimist, Tom, so I hope that it was just a bad choice of words. Wasn't it?
I do remember one time, however, when I saw you in the lobby of Shutters on the Beach in Santa Monica, California wearing a NEW YORK YANKEES cap. I know this is common knowledge that you're a Yankees fan, or so says my husband, but it took me off-guard as a lifelong BOSTON RED SOX fan. I will say, that cap saved you. I was about to come up to you and say hello, but I saw that cap and recoiled. Maybe that's why you wore it, so crazy Boston fans wouldn't come up and say hello? I get it. You get legions of fans trying to get a piece of you. The NY Yankees fan stopped this girl, so, good move... I guess.
Now you have come out and said that you "wouldn't be caught dead.... living in the Northeast again." You were talking about the weather. I know.
Every time I feel as if I should pull back my love for you because of the aforementioned offenses to Boston sports fans, I remember after the Patriots win of Superbowl L! when you dedicated that win to your Mother who was battling cancer at the time and you held up that trophy and cried, "WE'RE BRINGING THIS SUCKER HOME!" I still can't watch at without crying. You thanked me and all the other New England fans then. You did. You still love us.
Nevermind. I'm not mad. I'll take you back, my bad boyfriend, anytime you want.