I admit it.  Today, I am having a REALLY hard time with 2020.  If you know me, you know that 99% of the time, I am an optimist.  I always see the silver lining in most every situation, but today I'm feelin' 2020 in all it's glory.

This past weekend, I was all set to go to an "event" with other people.  I say "event," but we were all going to stay in our cars and try to have some sort of gathering with each other.  As it turns out, we couldn't.  One of the people was exposed to COVID-19 and we all decided it would be best to scrap it.  On top of that, there was a significant birthday for one of the people who was going to "attend," so, as it turns out, we didn't get together at all.

As one of the people in that group put it, "I can't tell whether I'm mad or depressed or both."  I would have to say that I agree.  I, like so many others, have so many emotions running around in my head and I am having a really hard time.  Today.

As my air partner Train puts it, Thanksgiving is the best holiday and I would have to agree.  There's no pressure to buy anyone any gifts that they may or may not like, it's just a chance for us to get together, eat and maybe profess what we are thankful for with the people that we love.  We are still going to do that, but there is a PROFOUND sadness in my heart for everything that we have lost in 2020.  The people who have died who we can't properly say goodbye to, all the fighting that we had to listen to during the election and all the people who have had to change their lives because of this pandemic.  I know that there will be a time when it will be seen as such a blessing, but going through it, combined with everything else, is really difficult right now.

My heart aches for the days of my Mother cooking turkey, my son literally drinking the gravy from the gravy bowl at the table, my nieces having waaaay too much wine and making a scene with her potty mouth, I miss it all.

I am thankful, however, for the house that I live in.  I made some much needed improvements to this place and it was fun doing it.  I now have a cozy living space downstairs where I can go and hide if I want to.  The 2nd bathroom is coming along nicely too.

I am thankful for my job.  I love what I do and I am happy to be on the air with Aaron each and every day.  Not everyone gets to do what they love and that is not lost on me.

Most of all, I am so very thankful for the people in my life.  I've lost so many, but for those who are still here, they are the reason I have hope for a better tomorrow.

Like I said, I'm having a hard time today, but as Clarice once sang to Rudolph, "There's Always Tomorrow."

Happy Thanksgiving.

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