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Agree or Disagree? Shark Employee Soft Drink Poll Winner Makes Absolutely No Sense

One of my duties here at The Bob Fuller Media Center is to restock the Coke machine. It has become an obsession. After 2 years of beverage management, I think I’ve found an acceptable drink option for every employee, but the most popular one has always left me very confused…see if you agree or disagree.

LAST PLACE- VANILLA COKE AND BARQ’S ROOT BEER

Last Place

Fish will celebrate every Friday afternoon with the delicious bite of a Barq’s Root BeerSaturday through Thursday, he won’t touch the stuff, nor will anyone else for whatever reason. But if I remove it from the machine, Fish has threatened to remove himself from the building and his departure would turn our world into a bleak dystopia that I do not want to even imagine. Besides, 52 cans a year probably outdoes Vanilla Coke.

However, rum drinkers in the building have professed their love of the Vanilla Coke/Rum blend and (much like the other soda that is tied for last place) these cans tend to see their most action late on Fridays.

5TH PLACE – DIET COKE AND COKE ZERO

5th Place

I was talking to one of our Coke delivery guys once about marketing and he had said that Diet Coke is primarily consumed by women, so Coke Zero was created and marketed for men. This marketing campaign has worked wonders on Jonathan, who drinks at least one can a day. The ladies in the office will have a similar amount of Diet Cokes to match Jonathan’s weekly five and somewhat prove the marketing strategy.

4TH PLACE- GINGER ALE

Canada Dry Ginger Ale. Some folks think you only drink this when your sick. I think they’re sickos. Caffeine free and made with 100% Ginger makes this beverage the 100% favorite of yours truly… did you notice it’s the only can that’s opened throughout all the photos…I couldn’t help myself.

3RD PLACE- COKE AND MYSTERIOUS MINUTE MAID LEMONADE

3rd Place

You can go wrong with Dr. Pemberton’s original formula. As we all know, when they changed the formula into New Coke in the 1980′s, the world nearly ended. Well, that may be a bit of an exaggeration but the classic red cans still do fly out of the machine at quite a clip.

The Minute Maid Lemonade remains quite a mystery. I offset the flavors to distribute original and pink evenly and I’ve never seen anyone drink one during regular business hours. Yet we go through gallons of it!?! It has to be the weekend crew or maybe someone on the overnight, maybe both. A case and a half a month and nobody I work ever touches the stuff. Very strange.

2ND PLACE – SELTZER

Olde New England Seltzer, still a fairly new addition, (making it a New Olde New Seltzer I guess), has taken the building by storm. Much like the Minute Maid, I offset the flavors of Orange, Berry Lime and Yumberry. Don’t ask me what a Yumberry is and don’t ask this guy either. All I know is, we go through so many that I constantly worry that we’ll run out of it. I haven’t yet…but I have run dry of this unlikely champion of the Shark Employee Soft Drink Poll.

1ST PLACE- WATER

Yep. Dasani water. Yes, we have tap water. Yes, we have a water filtration system that removes 99.999999% of all impurities and it lights up all scientific like AND it’s delicious and cold AND it’s free. But upon what beverage do the people here at the building prefer to spend their money??? Dasani Purified Water. That’s when they’re not drinking slightly flavored carbonated water. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH! 

If you worked here, what would be your favorite? Would it even be on this list?

 

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