I despise awards shows. Here's the basic concept, let's take the people of the world that are the most aesthetically blessed and spend 3 hours rewarding them with gold and crystal trophies for their "talent". I'm not even including the 2 hour red carpet session that several media outlets spend days upon days discussing and analyzing dresses and shoes. I think I'd rather stare at a wall...and for The Oscars I do just that.

The Academy Awards are nearly inescapable. Every single person I know HAS to watch them, twitter timelines are obliterated with every bit of nonsense that's occurring at The Staples Center so I put my phone in the sock drawer and read.

If I were to list my favorite things about Vegas, coming in at number 12,967 would be how my beloved Sin City is a nearly Oscar free safe zone. I spent one lovely Oscars weekend there and did not see or hear anything about it anywhere. Do you hate awards shows as much as I do? If you love them, I'll run and hide from your comments and wait until they go away...I'm quite good at that.

Getty Images/George Rose

"Sorry Ladies, I'd love to stay and chat but I must see who wins best screenplay"