Things have gotten so bad at the office. No longer are co-workers stealing staplers and pens from each other. Now we're stealing food. Is nothing sacred anymore? Chinese food, baked ziti, bagels - all of it gone missing. Thankfully we have a superhero living among us willing to fight the good fight. A man willing to stand up to the thievery, and voice his an 'all-staff' voicemail. Take a listen.

Have I been a victim? Absolutely. The two year anniversary of my missing Moe's Original sandwich is next Thursday. I've had baked chicken breasts stolen from me. I've had slices of pizza stolen from me. Too many times we've had to say goodbye to last night's meatloaf, without ever actually giving it a proper eating.

Food stealing in the office is an epidemic nowadays. Leaving something in the fridge overnight is a roll of the dice and writing your name on it won't even keep it safe anymore.


I see only one solution to the madness: don't go to work.

*The only food exempt from not stealing is obviously salad dressing. If you leave a bottle of salad dressing in the office fridge you're basically telling everyone you've brought something to share. Initial it all you want. I'll still use it all day and that's a fact jack.