New England Patriots Legend Tom Brady to Pursue…Standup Comedy?

Against all odds, Tom Brady’s increasingly strange post-Patriots life has taken another weird turn. According to the celebrity gossip site RadarOnline (best read with two grains of salt), Brady is putting off his NFL broadcasting career to…pursue standup comedy.

I guess now that Brady has made up with Bill Belichick, his goal is to make a room full of people smile just as much as he would. Radar also reports, however, that Brady is more likely to spend the time trying to win back his former wife, Gisele Bündchen.

Brady wouldn’t be the first Boston sports legend to go on to a career in comedy. His longtime teammate, Rob Gronkowski, has made numerous television appearances, most notably on Family Guy.

Celtics legend Kevin McHale made multiple appearances on Cheers, and Bruins President Cam Neely made a surprise cameo as the iconic bully Sea Bass in the film Dumb and Dumber.

But Brady has never exactly tracked as “hilarious.” So before he gets around to playing the Music Hall Lounge, here are a few jokes to get him started:

"Knock-knock. Who’s there? Antonio Brown! Don’t tell him I’m here!"

"Take my wife, please!...Wait, that was just a joke!"

"Why don’t they build the entire helmet out of the black box??"

"If you keep your beer keg on top of another beer keg, then you might be a Gronk."

"I’m here all week, try the tofu veal and kale chips."

"What’s with the crowd tonight? I haven’t seen this many jerks since I got a massage with Bob Kraft!"

"So I said, ‘Your name is Ha Ha Clinton-Dix?? What’s next – Tee Hee Biden-Butt?’"

"That's my time. Give it up for your headliner – O.J.!"