North Shore Bear on the Loose Finally Captured in This Massachusetts Town
The bear is no longer on the lamb.
After a summer of eluding wildlife officials during backyard romps throughout several Massachusetts towns, the North Shore Bear has been apprehended in North Reading.
The bear was humanely sedated, according to WCVB, and transported by officials to a wooded area where it can resume its life in the wild.
To you, this may seem a happy ending.
To me, however, the problem is just beginning.
In “The Sopranos” episode “The Pine Barrens,” Chris and Paulie are tasked with transporting a rogue associate named Valeri to a wooded area where he can…well…let’s say “stay” in the wild. However (SPOILER ALERT) Valeri eventually comes to, fights back, and eludes his captors indefinitely.
This remained a noted plot-point throughout the duration of the series, with some even surmising the jilted Russian Valeri would reemerge in the final episode to exact his revenge on one Tony Soprano. He was the one that got away, still out there lurking.
So why, then, did wildlife officials sedate North Shore Black Bear and drop it off in the woods, instilling a level of resolve, determination, and perhaps even anger in our affable summer celebrity?
Was there not a wildlife reserve in which the bear could have lived, maybe under an assumed identity to avoid conflict and perhaps even find love?
But here’s where the real problem comes into play: what if the bear sightings resume? By not reaching closure with the bear, there is no way to tell if a bear spotted in the North Shore is the official North Shore Bear, or a completely different bear altogether (a la “Cloverfield,” or Doink the Clown in early-90s WWE).
The North Shore and Seacoast New Hampshire can rest as soundly should they choose, as the North Shore Bear is “yesterday’s news.”
But don’t blame me when you’re eating onion rings with your family at a diner, listening to “Don’t Stop Believing,” and a familiar forest creature emerges from the shadows to “go for a little ride”…