10 Things That Happen to New Hampshire Women After Age 50

If you know me, you know that I am a happy person who sees the positive with most every situation and circumstance.

After I turned 50, however, I realized that there are a few things that have creeped into this ray of sunshine brain of mine that surprised me.  Is it because I live here in New Hampshire?  My Yankee (in location only - Yankees suck otherwise) heart says, YES.

Did I really want to yell to that young Mother at the Candia Truck Stop to lower her cackle when she read our state motto in the gift section?  Doesn't everyone know by now that we are the "Live Free and Die" state?  It's not that funny, Lady.  Move out of my way so I can buy my allowance of one cookie per week.

I remember when I threw open the slider in the kitchen when it was 35 degrees and declared, "Holy Moly, it's hot today!"  My husband thought I lost my mind.

These things kept happening to me, so, I thought I would make a list for you, fellow 603-er over 50.  Enjoy.

10 Things That Happen to New Hampshire Women After Age 50

1.  You no longer tolerate tourists.  "You must be a great skiier!"  Yes, of course I am.  Automatically, if you are born within the borders of New Hampshire, you are given a Black Diamond trail pass for life.

2.  Your sexy nightgown comes from LL Bean and you don't hate it.

3.  You could have told Kevin Skarupa from WMUR that it was going to rain because your joints are killing you.

4.  You are almost ready to embrace your natural hair color, but not quite yet.  Too many highlights are for Massachusetts though, so you have to be careful with the peroxide.

5.  The only social engagements that you choose to go to are the transfer station and Dunks.  All other appointments are attended with rolled eyes.

6.  You dream of living somewhere warmer, but then the Tuckaway Tavern & Butchery has another sale on steak tips and you vow never to leave.

7.  If a restaurant dares to serve you anything but New Hampshire maple syrup, you will know it by the smell and consider leaving immediately.

8.  You remember when Portsmouth didn't have any smell of patchouli, but are happy we're not Portland, Maine.

9.  You put on a t-shirt, a sweater and a parka like you're going to shovel in a snowstorm, but head to the dairy aisle at Market Basket instead.

10.  You know every pothole on High Street in Hampton so well, you've named each one of them.  Fred is particularly rough today.

Those are the ones that I have swimming around in my head.  If you think of any, please let me know and I'll add it to the list.