Massachusetts Town Takes Drastic Step to Fend Off Wild Coyotes
It seems the war between New Englanders and coyotes has reached its breaking point.
In fact, the problem has gotten so bad that one Massachusetts town has decided to take matters into its own hands and hire some good old-fashioned coyote busters.
As part of something that sounds like a cross between Barry and Looney Tunes, the North Shore community of Nahant is bringing in sharpshooters to take out the coyotes.
According to Boston.com, the town’s Board of Selectmen reached an agreement with Federal authorities to bring in coyote assassins once the sun sets. The wild animals have been deemed a threat to the general public by town officials.
But as is the case with everything, there is controversy. While residents took to Facebook to applaud the decision, the MSPCA pushed back, saying that rather than killing the coyotes, we must “Haze” coyotes loudly.
It remains a bit unclear just how that works. Do we just mock coyotes? Do we shame them? By hazing, do they mean we should make them scrub our floors with toothbrushes before they’re invited to a toga party?
The coyote problem in Massachusetts comes just after a Connecticut mom was caught on camera rescuing her daughter from a raccoon attack outside their home (part of a trend of increasingly brazen wildlife some trace back to pandemic lockdown).
Nevertheless, Nahant is looking for people to take out coyotes. So, here are a few questions they should probably ask when interviewing potential coyote assassins:
Are you a coyote?
Are you sure you’re not a coyote? You have to tell me if you’re a coyote!
Wasn’t “Coyote Assassin” a game at the Dream Machine?
Are you now or have you ever been employed by a coyote?
Didn’t Coyote Assassin used to open for Aerosmith?
Are you willing to search for the Devil Monkey while you hunt coyotes?
Do you root for the Arizona Coyotes?
Are you a roadrunner?