Canobie Lake Park isn’t quite the same when you’re an adult in 2023. In these melancholy post-pandemic years, you actually long for the days when taking a beating on the Yankee Cannonball was your worst fear.

And you kind of relive them after you ride the Yankee Cannonball and get just as beat up.

But things still felt “off” the first time I took my daughter to the park that first opened ten years before the Titanic sank. This was nothing new, as I began my battle with anxiety long before it was cool.

Then, I found it. A trio of rides guaranteed to shake you from the doldrums. The theme park version of the Beach Plum menu hack that will cure you of your ills.

For real. If you go on these three rides located in the same corner of the park – in this order – you will feel better.


Where else would you start? It says it right on the sign outside. This attraction gives Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride a run for its money, taking you on a dark twisted journey inside a haunted coal mine complete with skeletons and zombies. Keep your eyes open and face your fears. Push that angst to the surface. One ride should suffice.


With all due respect to Mr. Foley’s favorite theme park, this is my favorite New Hampshire log flume. The perfect mix of water and sunlight. It’s like splashing some cold water on your face to snap out of it. Repeat this three times.


The “hot towel” of the Canobie Lake Park relaxation experience. Close your eyes, let your clothes dry, and just enjoy the ebb and flow. Ride as many times as you need. Get one side to chant "Tastes great!" while the other chants "Less filling!" It won’t solve all your problems, but this summertime regimen will at least make you feel better.

And now more than ever, who wouldn’t take better?

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